As It Happens...

It is not how busy you are, but why you are busy — the bee is praised, the mosquito is swatted. ~Author Unknown

I started this post two weeks ago and had to tweak the time references twice and I decided to break it up in subtitles to make it easier for...well, I wish I could say for my readers, but in honesty it was for me, because life is just speeding up and we are close to having it change course to a different pace again soon.

The Florida Estate
Two weekends ago was the estate sale for the Queen Mother's things and it was rather pitiful. My husband was there the weekend before it and went back the weekend after it. I was hoping we would get about twice of what we did, but summer estate sales do not do as well in Florida as when the snow birds are there. Plus most of the things were collectibles that do not sell well at all. We did sell the car for fair market value, which is very important as less would have caused us legal issues with Medicaid.

We also have a really motivated buyer for the house, which we are doing without a real estate agent. The woman buying it just finalize her divorce and from that day only has 30 days to move out. There are criminal charges against her husband for abuse, actually he choked her so there was intention to murder her, and was court ordered to buy out her half of the equity in their house. She is doing all the foot work for buying our house. My husband had to go to Florida this the last weekend in July to pick up all the things we were keeping for the Queen Mother in her closet as well as correct the title on the car because he signed it in the wrong spot and then drive back on Sunday so he could drive me to my periodontal surgery that Monday. The buyer, my husband calls her a force of nature, actually had the purchase agreement made out by an attorney and somehow had the house and termite inspectors there on that Saturday, which is unusual for them to work weekends.

The Force of Nature has a very good friend that lives across the street who can look after her ten-year-old son and her work is so close she can practically walk to it, when she had been driving for 45 minutes to an hour in traffic. We had several people seriously interested in the house even though we did not have a sign out, just word of mouth by people in the neighborhood, but she was the most motivated and she had experience with buying houses without a realtor, so she was willing to do the foot work understanding that it was difficult for us because we live out of state. Termite damage was found and so they will treat and repair it at our cost, but after talking with the Queen Mother, we now know that they had termites there years before and it was treated, but probably not repaired as there was no active termites found this time. Closing is at the end of August, but the Force of Nature may need to move in before that and we are working it out with her.

The Periodontal Surgery
The last week of July the upcoming periodontal surgery was looming in my thoughts, especially after getting the call one week in advance. During that call I was told the amount I would owe. Now I had been given two quotes previous to scheduling the surgery. One was surprisingly affordable and the other was more expensive by four times, and it was discussed as recommended but it was not said that it was absolutely needed...at least that is where I understood it be over a month back. However, having conferred with my orthodontist, they both agreed that it would be better if I had more gum material in the front of my lower teeth, especially since I would be going into braces.

I was not particularly happy about the price or the extra work and such things usually cause me to have anxiety, but as I felt that trying to settle into my nerves, I just said, "Jesus." My Lord reminded me that He is blessing me and that He has all this. I consciously decided that I was not going to worry about it and I would just deal with things as they come. I did not take any Valerian all week and I was not even nervous when I walked into the room for my surgery on Monday morning. I was actually looking forward to be lightly sedated and I was awake for much of it. In fact, the doctor was done nearly an hour earlier than expected. He said that everything was straightforward and clean. God has been blessing me as He promised.

I used my polarizers on both of my cheeks immediately afterward and went to sleep with them for most of the day and all the night. Believe it or not, I honestly had no pain and no swelling. Although I have used these polarizers for many things over the years, I am still surprised that they worked so well. I will say that the periodontist used a form fitting hard "bandage" over the two of surgery sites, but not on the one where the back tooth was removed, however I had no pain at all after the anesthetics wore off EXCEPT in one place where I did not have surgery! I mean, the doctor packed in bone grafting material where he removed the tooth not all that gently even though I was completely numb and I still had no pain at all at that site. The ONLY pain I have had is below the surgery site across the front, more like the top of the chin, and I think that is caused by the "bandage" digging into that sensitive area where the back side of below the lip meets the gum. It began hurting before I left the office and icing only made it feel worse. It still feels bruised a week later. I have my post-op appointment on Wednesday so I am thinking that I might have to deal with some tenderness at the surgery sites when that stuff is taken off, but I think my chin area will then heal.

Of course, I can only eat soft foods, which is getting old. I miss my salads! Not much in fresh foods are soft enough to not mess with the "bandages," and I have been having yogurt and/or cottage cheese at least twice a day to four times to take with the antibiotic and replenish the gut probiotics it kills off. I did a very happy dance as I took the last pill of that this morning!

The Competition
While I am still recuperating (mostly from the meds) this Sunday, my husband and my daughter were dropped off at the airport to start their trip to California for competing in the National Fine Arts Festival in Anaheim, California. They registered today and she is scheduled to play on Thursday at 2:20 p.m. Mountain Time, which is 5:20 my time.

My husband told me that they are expecting 20,000 in total attendance! Wow! I do not know how many of them are registered to compete and I do not know how many pianists are competing in classical piano, but I am hoping that the Princess shines her brightest and places well.

The Rain
I am so thankful for the rain we had here last night. My plants were just so very drought stressed and I am the only one that waters them...and I have not really felt like pulling the hoses all around the house this week. Granted, I am not in much pain, but the meds have taken their toll with my energy, plus I was advised not to do much physically so that it would hinder the healing process.

My Lord, whew! So much has been going on! But right now I want to concentrate on the next thing and that is that my daughter does well at this competition. Let her know in her heart that You are there with her.

A Happy Blessed Day!

God doesn't bless us just to make us happy;
He blesses us to make us a blessing. -Warren W. Wiersbe

When God says He is going to bless you, He means He is going to bless you! I am seeing it in the littlest of things for the last several weeks, but also the big things, those mountains I could not move.

I kind of dreaded Tuesday morning, but it turned out to be a very good day, kind of like spotting my my favorite combination of colors throughout the rest of the day like these lilacs in a old green watering can!

I had an appointment with the periodontist early in the morning before the rest of our weekly errands and the Princess' piano lesson. I have to say that the orthodontist recommends the best people, not only good at what they do and conservative in their approaches, but great personalities also. I am scheduled to have periodontal surgery at the end of July and it will not be as extensive as I thought it might have to be. He confirmed that my gums were in a good enough state for braces, which I think he doubted when he saw my x-rays with the bone loss, but when he examined me I think he found that my gums are in better condition than he expected. He wants to do a deep cleaning of two back teeth, which would be done surgically. I need to have one back tooth removed and bone graphing done to prepare for an implant that will be placed after I am out of braces.

I do have a couple of other teeth with gum recession, but he seem to not be too concerned with them at this time. He said something about looking at everything after my teeth have been moved around and see what I have then. So, it will not be as expensive as I thought it could be! And while God did not yet heal the bone loss—I am still holding on to that possibility—He definitely has healed some of the deep pockets I had!

So, all good news. The braces will be the most expensive part and certainly the longest treatment but I am so very happy about the idea of saving my teeth!

I had realized about three weeks ago that I must have left my black summer cardigan sweater at Goodwill, so it likely was re-donated. When I was in Florida I looked for one in a retail store and a thrift store, because they usually sell them in the summer because of demand from older women who are get sensitive to going into air conditioning after being in the hot outside. Since I came home I have been looking for one at Goodwill stores since. This is actually the best time of the year to look for sweaters because they are not as picked over as in the cooler weather, but finding black cardigans in good shape and my size is an act of patience and perfect timing. It took me nearly a year to find the sweater I lost and it was ideal, but I found two on Tuesday that were not as ideal, but sufficient. Both are snugger on the arms than I like but I am only wearing them with short sleeves or sleeveless tops. Why two? One looks a bit faded and has small pilling, but is very comfortable so I am thinking of using it more at home. The other looks brand new but is a bit thicker, better for air-conditioned stores and restaurants and church.

This is me painted happy!

My Lord, thank you for all the blessings. You are a most awesome God!

That Something Broken Between God and Me

God has yet to bless anyone except where they actually are.
~Dallas Willard

Everyone has felt let down by God some time in his or her life, but the trial is not the condition that caused the feeling: the trial is what we choose to do with it. The majority of people either become embittered against God for the rest of their lives or consider it God's punishment against them. Fewer see it as we probably should: we are living in a fallen, imperfect, sin-filled world along with evil, so there are disease, destruction, decay, deterioration, degeneration, and death.

I have been struggling with an expectation I had on my Lord for several years and it was not an unreasonable expectation of the Almighty! However, it was left unfulfilled and I allowed it to cause a brokeness between us, one of my own making admittedly. Every time I have prayed for the last few years, I have this festering thought in the back of my mind. Every time I have prayed for others to be healed, I was harassed by thoughts of "why not me" or "like I should pray for someone to be healed when I am unworthy to be healed myself" and other such thoughts. Some would blame Satan for those whisperings in my mind, but these were my own doubts springing forth from their hiding places that I did not want to admit I had, not even to myself.

I have such wonderful stories of healings in my family. My aunt was developing so many floaters in her eyesight that it was predicted she would be blind by the time she was 30 and God healed her. God not only broke my uncle's addiction to smoking a pipe, but also the lingering smell on himself and their home! Things like that were just kind of accepted but without expectation in their home. However, not everything in their lives was wonderful and they never expected everything to be. My aunt eventually needed glasses and my uncle developed a small spot of cancer on his tongue decades later. That is the way of it; healing does not mean healed forever. Even in with healing victories, we still live in a sin-damaged world.

God did a very big miracle for me when I was just about the age my daughter is right now. I was camping with my aunt, uncle and cousins, as they always tried to take a camping trip for a week before school started. I had a dream that was so real that I wished so much that it was real: my teeth were straight. I woke up moving my tongue along my teeth and they felt straight...but only for that moment. Then the reality that they were not plunged my hopes into the ground and I just wept and prayed this: "God please straighten my teeth." I heard without any hesitation, "I will." Now I had experienced encounters with God before that night, but not one that struck me as a promise that He made specifically to me for something I wanted.

Even though I was just 16 years old and not long on patience, I never doubted it for even a moment that He would do it, but I reminded him of His promise for nearly a year before I found out how He was going to do it. Unknown to me, my aunt had approached our dentist, who had known me from the first time I had a baby tooth that would not come out on its own, probably because my teeth were so crooked and crowded. He knew my mouth was a mess, but I came from a very poor family, and my aunt and uncle had not much to spare after taking me in with their own four children. So, my dentist asked his orthodontic friends to look at my case, knowing we could not afford braces.

One look and I was told I had the worse case they had ever seen and they were not even sure that they could help me. They said that I had nearly everything wrong with my mouth but the opposite of it, as in you cannot have an over bite and an under bite at the same time. They took my case pro bono and my dentist did all my dental work for free as well during the time I had braces, which was a long time...I think it was nearly five years in braces and then a year in a retainer and then another year in my retainer at night. I would have kept wearing my retainer at night but my dog had gotten a hold of it and I could not get the orthodontist to replace it. How I wish I had pursued that more!

Teeth will move...I was warned....and they did, but they looked straight until sometime after I had my daughter. Slowly I again developed an overbite and then one tooth in the front dropped and then one in the back also on the top got a gum infection once. The tooth dropped due to bone loss and the back tooth, which has been loose, had far more bone loss even though my gums looked healthy. My dentist even told me that it is nothing I am doing wrong because my dental hygiene is very good, but even so I have accepted that God is not miraculously healing me and probably both of these teeth will need to be removed and have implants replace them.

So, this week I had a consultation with the same oral surgeon I had picked to remove the Princess' impacted wisdom teeth, when they are further along as he recommended and possibly four other teeth if her orthodontist decides that needs to be done, as he said she is borderline on the crowding. The oral surgeon took a look at my x-rays and asked if I had had braces, probably easily deduced because I am missing four teeth. Then he asked if they had used a palette spreader...now I am impressed! How could he know that?

Well, it comes down to this. The palette speader is braced on four teeth and you are given a key to insert in the middle to give it a half turn every day so that it spreads out the palette, because my palette was too narrow. The preferred method, at least now, is to surgically do this (although many orthodontists still are using that method). Why? Because afterward the teeth tilt back in towards the mouth and that is how he could tell I had that done. So the teeth look straight on the outside, but they actually tilt inward.

Now I knew my upper teeth in particular had moved in ways that I did not like, but after seeing the my excellent hygiene care and the condition of my gums although with some periodontal pockets, he could only attribute the bone loss to problems he was seeing to my bite. So, I also need to see a periodontist but the oral surgeon said to talk to the orthodontist first and he will coordinate what needs to be done and in what order, so that everything is prepared for starting orthodontics.

Fortunately the orthodontist had an opening the very next day so I went. He asked me what my goal was and I said to save my teeth, because if my bite was the problem as I had been told by his friend the oral surgeon, then I had more problems to come with my teeth in the future if I did not correct the bite. The orthodontist said I have an open bite and that ideally upper jaw surgery would be the best corrective procedure. I was asked if the oral surgeon suggested it, which I do not think he did and we discussed the next best option. The second best option would be to work with the jaw as it is to give me the best bite possible and take the extra stress off the back teeth, which are the only teeth really making contact for chewing presently. That would put me in braces for about a year and a half. I was going with that option until I talked to my husband, who was considering the first option to be the better one.

So, I am taking a look into the the jaw surgery and may need to talk to the oral surgeon again to see if my case is borderline or would be necessary. It would solve a number of problems for me including some TMJ, but it is a pretty intense surgery and can leave numbness in the upper lip, cheeks, and nose for months. It also adds time to being in braces, because the braces have to be in place before the surgery, but thankfully there is no wiring the mouth shut, just rubber bands to hold everything in place.

Also the orthodontist was thinking that he might try to work with the tooth that had dropped down in the front. It was just slightly loose and even though teeth do not really move back up much, he thought that the two middle front teeth could move down some and it up some, and maybe it would not be completely even but still good. He was the first one to not say pull it and do an implant automatically, although the oral surgeon did not give an option saying to talk to the orthodontist first.

The orthodontist is kind of like the conductor of this whole thing. When teeth are removed, when implants can be placed, when jaw surgery should be done (if I go that route), and so forth. However, the first thing is to see a periodontist, because while my gums look healthy pink, I have a few pockets and gum loss to deal with first before anything else...well, accept for the one tooth that cannot be saved. It seems that my the oral surgeon and the periodontist both can pull the tooth and place a bone graph, so the question is who to do that which is probably next.

Considering everything I am going to have to do, the funny thing is I actually feel very relieved. I have been feeling that I had been given this wonderful gift 40 years ago and I messed it up. I did not always take care of my teeth as well as I should have, but there was this overwhelming guilt so bad that I did not want anyone to know. I felt terribly ashamed to say that I ever had braces, because my teeth sure did not look like it now. Their present condition was not a good testament of the gift God had given me. However, now I know that my former orthodontists had done the best with their knowledge at the time and open bite jaw problem as it was.

And, here is the thing that really warms my heart. A few weeks ago, I was trying to pray with that wedge of guilt about my teeth and letting God down...and feeling unloved between us because he had not healed me still. I do not remember now what I was praying about exactly but I think it was along the lines of my husband and his mother and that whole situation—whatever it was I do know it was not directly related to me or my teeth—and I heard my Lord say "I am going to bless you," as plainly and as clearly as when He said "I will" 40 years ago.

I did not really know what He meant at the time, but considering how much all this dental work is going to cost us...well, the timing is pretty good for that part. (Although who ever wants to spend money on things like this?) I feel a bit guilty about the cost, but also wildly relieved, which I find rather odd. Ever since the Princess has gotten her braces, I have been so excited for her and even a bit envious thinking I how would love to go into braces again (strange as that may seem), but I knew that it would be far more complicated and costly for me (and I did not even know the half of it). I have been weighing that with my age and its worth. However, now that it seems the bone loss will continue because of my bite, that I could lose more bone and more teeth, and all of that is not really associated with how well I am taking care of my teeth, I feel so much better. I actually teared up when I was talking to the oral surgeon, not because of the work I dreaded to have done as I thought I would when I went there, but because I was doing everything I could and he could see that and found the likely cause and this could save my other teeth.

Yeah, I am feeling rather blessed—and loved—right now. My Lord and I will be going through this together...again.

My Lord, just days ago I was weeping in my heart, feeling unloved by You. I knew that was wrong, which only made me feel worse. Today, I am weeping with joy because I now see the special gift you had been holding for me in secret until now. You are a such a good Father. Thank you.