Organizing Food Storage in My Kitchen - Part 1

No matter where I serve my guests,
it seems they like my kitchen best. ~Unknown

My aunt had this trivet hanging on the wall near her stove for so many years. I liked the saying but the trivet itself just looked too old fashion to me with a woman running in an apron flipping a pancake. That was so un-me as a teenager and I did not like the thing at all then. However, when I saw one just like it in a Goodwill store, it gave me such strong feelings of nostalgia that I snatched it up. Funny how things like that, things I hated as well as things I loved, both are sentimentally pleasing. I have not yet hung it in my own kitchen, but I most likely will right above my own stove. The saying was very true in my aunt's home as she had a large country eat-in kitchen, but my home has a bar with a pot rack hanging over it between the dining area and the kitchen, so technically it is my dining room that seems to be the hang out, apart from the kitchen yet open to it. Still some of the best conversations are during the making of a meal!

However, my kitchen is has not been the place I like best and, after beginning to inventory the pantry, it just seemed to be logical to also work on food storage areas in my kitchen as well.

I was too ashamed to take pictures of my cabinets where I store food previously. For one, besides being messy, we had been having an Indianmeal Moth problem. This pest is rather common when buying bulk foods like nuts, grains, popcorn, and flour, particularly with organics because the foods are not treated with insecticides. However, this infestation was different in that it was not contained in a container and I often had a few fly out whenever I opened my cabinets—not the kind of thing you ever want a guest to see. I had removed the source of the infestation or at least what they were going after for food mostly, a bag of almonds, but by then they had also found other things to sustain themselves. Another very common pest in organic grains and flours is the Grain Weevil. I have had them upon occasion also, which is why my flours and grains usually are stored in the freezer. It is said it kills the eggs, but I have even had some infestations break out after freezing, although it does limit any infestation better.

All of the flours and such were sealed in zip lock bags to discourage or contain pests, but apparently both of these bugs can eat through them as well, to my surprise. (Previously, I though only the weevil could.) So, I had a few more things to toss. Just a few, thankfully. Obviously, we needed better storage solutions.

My daughter and I have been searching for items to help us organize as cheaply as possible, which means that I have been shopping at every Goodwill, Big Lots, and other closeout stores near my errand route. I have found some new favorite stores and some very handy things!

There are three things that I have wanted to have in larger containers: rolled oats, whole wheat flour, and unbleached white flour. (Rolled oats are for my husband's oatmeal, my homemade granola, part of our homemade dog food, and treats for the rabbits. Yeah, we go through it pretty fast.) I found these jumbo stainless steel canisters at Big Lots, actually a Target Room Essentials brand with very minor deflects, for $12 each, which is probably half its original price since now they can only be purchased from Target online so there is additional shipping costs. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately because I would have bought I don't know how many more if they had them), they only had three. An entire 5lb bag of flour fits with room to spare!

Now the problem with these huge canisters is that they did not really fit in my cabinets, which is to say they fit into them but were huge space hogs and nothing else would fit in with them. These canisters were so large that they also took up too much space on my counters; besides I do not bake so often that they would not need to that quite accessible. Previously I had the flours in the cabinet above the oven, which was a stretch for me, but we have an Amish made wooden ironing board, step stool, and chair in one that moves easily around and is highly used for such things in our kitchen. It was my husband who suggested the top of the pot rack which is close to the step stool. I had to remove a few things from that, hang the stainless steel strainer, and arrange the pots we needed to have there, but I have been very pleased with this solution. I even labeled the canisters so I could easily identify their contents.

My Lord, thank you for spending time with me when I am immersed into projects like this. ~

Baby Buys Her First App

If a man is called a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and Earth will pause to say, Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

My daughter uses my Kindle as much as I do...almost. I should say instead that she plays on it. I have it password protected so she cannot use it without my consent and another password so she cannot accidentally buy anything with my Amazon account since the Kindle ties into it. Her favorite games have been Temple Run and Temple Run 2. These apps are free. There are things you can purchase but they are not necessary to enjoy the game fully.

The Princess begs to play which is quite useful at times, when a mama needs a bit of incentive for a child who needs to finish a lesson or do better with a chore or even as a punishment—yes, a two-day grounding from the Kindle was quite a torture for the child.

Seeing the app Brave, which is design after the Disney animated movie by the makers of Temple Run, she asked about it. The Princess had seen the movie with a younger friend, who was staying with us while her parents went Christmas shopping. The girl had obviously seen it before because she could not wait to give away all its secrets as we tried to enjoy it for our first time. Anyway, the Princess was hoping it was free to download, but it is not. I told her since she just had an allowance increase that she could buy it herself but it still would be on my Kindle. When she found out it was only 99¢, she ran to her room to get a dollar, but was completely baffled about how to use the dollar to purchase the app. I told her that I had to place it on a credit card first and then use her dollar to pay my credit card.She was in a sweat waiting for the purchase to process and then the download, but finally she had her Temple Run: Brave app.

Now while we were visiting church #4, we were talking with a young father who was manning the children check-in desk—not that we were checking in the Princess, but there was very little room to stand out of the way while waiting for the first service to end. He was the one who told us the church had WiFi. Then he mentioned that he ended up buying a Nook for his children because they were always using his wife's and leaving it with a dead battery. Understandable being that they were five and seven years old and not supposed to be plugging things into electrical sockets.

With the idea of purchasing her own app and how much she uses my Kindle, I thought maybe a mini tablet would be something that would motivate my daughter into making some extra money doing odd jobs for neighbors and extra jobs for us to save up for her very own. We talked about it and she was very excited about the idea so we looked up the cost of a different mini tablets, but she seemed to prefer a Kindle Fire HD like I have. We talked about the the cost of covers to protect it and sales tax, and then we decided that $250 would be a good goal. I talked to her about making a wall chart with the goal saving at the top and how to fill in as she saves up. She is working on the chart as I am typing actually.

I was thinking that I worked with my father at the gas station/car wash he was managing that summer when I was 12 years old and had a checking account. My husband began a lawn mowing business when he was around 10 years old. The Princess is turning 12 years old in less than two months so it is not early too early for her to start learning that work ethic and earning a bit of an income for herself.

~ My Lord, please guide my child and let us her parents be Your servants. ~

Inventoring my Pantry

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans. ~Peter F. Drucker

My dear readers, I finally got around to uploading pictures to reveal what I had been doing in February when my blog was so silent and my husband was gone, so he did not have to deal with the mess in the kitchen as I moved things around. I have been meaning to do this project for so long—far too long—but just never had the time, energy, or maybe I just was not committed enough. Now that I have more time and energy, I seem to be far more committed to reorganizing my home, but in a no-hurry-worry way, just one area at a time, because I am still homeschooling, which is a higher priority.

I did not take before pictures of my pantry because what was on the shelves was pretty well organized. The problem was that I had left bags upon bags of things all over the floor because it is close to dinner time and I am usually too tired after unpacking the van on my errand day to put on the shelves in the order of expiration dates. I buy things in bulk when they go on sale. The problem has been that many things do not get used up by their expiration dates, but I have not had anything go bad with the exception of ginger cookies--regardless of the brand, there must be something about ginger without preservatives in baked goods. (If you are wondering what I do with all that canola oil so wonderfully rich in healthy Omega 3, I make my own mayonnaise and ranch dressing with it.)

Now the really cool thing is that this time I did not just arrange the panty but I inventoried it. I was excited about using the bar code feature with the Out of Milk app for android devices, however I soon learned that while Kindle Fire HD has a built-in camera, it does not have a bar code reading capabilities. I could enter the UPC number, but then I was ending up changing the names so that they were categorized by flavor first and brand name last. In the end it was just faster to input the inventory using my laptop, but I can access it with my Kindle (or my phone, I later found out) wherever there is free WiFi (which is not in the stores I shop at this time but I can also print out my inventory or save it in a PDF format loaded it on my Kindle). I also put in the expiration months and years in the notes so that I can keep track of them. I am hoping this will help me make better decisions when I bulk buy, so that I have less out of date items.

Now the downside of this is if anyone brings something up from the pantry other than lemonade or tea which gets used up quickly, I have to know so that I take it off the inventory and this is a new house rule so it may not go over easily, but I am hoping to head off most of that by weekly replenishing the kitchen cupboards with the oldest items. Once something is brought up to the kitchen cupboards, I take it off the list whether it is stored in the cupboard or used. This way my inventory is solely for the pantry as I can easily see what is in the cupboards...at least I can now, but I am saving that for another post.

~ My Lord, when I think of the earth with fresh water in its place and salt water in its place, the mountains and plains in their places, the sky and the ground in their places, the atmosphere and outer space in theirs, and so on, I am amazed by how orderly your creation is. May my family be motivated by how Your order benefits us in keeping our home organized and enjoying its benefits as well. ~

Church #4

Jesus is interested in a relationship with you, not a 45 minute date every Sunday morning. Make Him first in your life ~Joyce Meyer

You might be wondering what has happened to me since I only posted four times in February and the last time was nearly two weeks ago. I was deep into a home organization project that I will post about later...hopefully. For this past week I have been preparing for a seasonal consignment sale and I still have some finishing touches to do on that yet, but it will be done tomorrow by the drop off time in the late afternoon. Also, my husband was away for work for nearly four weeks. Actually, it was three weeks solid then he came home on a Friday night but unexpectedly had to leave early Sunday morning to Thursday evening and then work in town until late Friday night. It seems he has not been in our time zone long enough to reset his internal timer, so we are trying to have a relaxed weekend.

However, since we were finally all together again, we did visit another church for the first time. This one is about 25 minutes west of us in a small rural town with a water tower but no post office. The church meets in a converted steel warehouse near a Dollar General Store, a gas station with a convenience store, and a tiny dwarf goat farm.  No kidding!

The service was more conventional in its structure, but with stage lighting and a good sound system. With that and the contemporary Christian music lead by a large praise and worship band, the church seems targeted for younger adults, but we were pleasantly surprised by its multi-generational and multi-cultural congregation of around 150 for this second service, as they have two each Sunday morning. Three total strangers hugged me as if I was being greeted into heaven where I was expected and I was surprised by how much I wished all Christians greeted each other like this.

They also had a choir, which was anything but traditional. The choir director in dreadlocks had a unique style of directing and the choir of varying ages, even a few children, was phenomenal. They wore just their regular clothes and since this is a "come as you are" church, most everyone was in jeans. (The Princess had worn a dress and remarked that no other girls wore dresses.)

The service was lively, but it was the preaching that so much spoke to my husband and me. The pastor started a series for March called "Radical" and it was very similar to my own thinking. He did not pull any punches when he said that most people pray for God to do something that they want rather than surrendering self and asking to service Him in want He wants. This is something that I have been talking to the Princess about for some time. This pastor has two published books that may would be worth reading to know more about their doctrines.

From the literature, the church has drama practice and a youth band also. The choir and drama really interested the Princess, after she got past the sulking because it was new and different. I am hoping it is just a phase, as she used to embrace new things, and she did warm up about halfway through the service. I am thinking that this may be one of the reasons we are not being called to a particular church at this time: the Princess needs to experience differing ways of worship and service--perhaps we all do.

This church is not close to our home but it is very close to friends of ours from our former church. I was just saying to my husband today that I miss talking with them after church and the husband later text my husband saying the same, but they were too busy to get together today, so maybe next weekend.

~ My Lord, thank you for interesting experiences of worshiping with other believers. It has been enjoyable. I miss the intimacy of a church group, but I appreciate what You are showing us in being freer in our worship so much. This is a delightful and enlightening season of our lives. ~

Translating the Word

He who begins by loving Christianity better than Truth will proceed by loving his own sect or church better than Christianity, and end in loving himself better than all.
~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Do you trust God enough to seek His Truth even if it shatters what you have believed up to this day? If not, please do not bother to read further; this message is not for you.

The Princess and I have been studying Classical Latin and Koine Greek together and when I write this I mean that we work on the assignments, check each other's work, and quiz each other with flash cards. In this way she is learning another valuable lesson of life: all teachers are also students and all students are also teachers. The benefit for me personally is that I am learning these languages and not just relying on the answer booklet.

It was suggested in our Greek curriculum that we begin copying the New Testament in its original Greek text starting with the Book of John and I am considering copying the same from the Latin text since the entire Bible was translated into Latin also. Immediately, within the very first verse of John, I found that there is a good reason look deeper into the translation. Now just about every Christian has the first part of John memorized so it is easy to translate, but the very first verse of John is a point of great contention between the trinitarian and non-trinitarian believers.

Both ancient languages have their own specific syntax. Greek is much like modern English in that a sentence begins with a subject followed by the verb. If I have lost you, "Mary ran" is a subject-verb (action) example but "roses are flowers" is a subject-verb (state of being/copula) where the Greek order could be "flowers roses are" or even "roses flowers are." Latin is a bit more confusing as it places the most important word first, usually the subject of the sentence, and the verb is usually the last word of the sentence so it could literally read: David the lamb in the nothern field chased. (Think of Yoda in a Stars Wars movie and you get the picture. We can understand it, but the syntax seems backwards to us.)

In both Greek and Latin, there are noun declensions or the inflection of nouns, pronouns, adjectives, and articles to indicate singular and plural, nominative (subjective) case, genitive (possessive) case, gender, and so on. In both languages, the ending of a noun indicates its declension. Also, Latin has no articles at all, and Greek has no indefinite articles that would translate to be "a" or "an" but does have definite articles that would translate as "the."

Now let's take a look at John 1:1 in its original Greek:
Ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ Λόγος, καὶ ὁ Λόγος ἦν πρὸς τὸν Θεόν, καὶ Θεός ἦν ὁ Λόγος.

Yeah, it used to look Greek to me also, but I can read and understand it now. It might look a bit more familiar to you written with our alphabet (the capitalization is not in the original Koine Greek):
En archē ēn ho Lógos, kai ho Lógos ēn pros ton Theón, kai Theós ēn ho Lógos.

In most Bibles, the translations reads:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

However, being a new student of Greek, it seemed to me it should literally read:
In (the) beginning (there) was (existed) the Word, and the Word was (existed) with the God, and God was the Word.

Or without the capitals so that we can look at this objectively as it was in the original Greek text:
in (the) beginning (there) was (existed) the word, and the word was (existed) with the god, and god was the word.

I noticed that in the last phrase both "god" and "word" are in nominative case. This is why the last phrase is written Θεός ἦν ὁ Λόγος instead of Θεός ἦν ὁ Λόγον (notice the last letter in the last word). The predicate nominative seems interchangeable or at least as important as the subject in the translation to English, but which is the subject? Translating the phrase to the Word was God is probably not an error.  However, the real point of contention between the trinitarian and non-trinitarian believers is mostly about the lack of an article and if an indefinite article should be inserted so that it would read the word was a god (or a deity).
If it had, left in its literal translation with its syntax so similar to modern English, would it make sense to place an article there?

in the beginning was the word, and the word was with the god, and a god was the word
or, another possible translation could be
in beginning was the word, and the word was with the god, and a deity was the word

But, if Θεόν is "god" in the previous portion of the sentence what is the change of mood that would it be "deity" in the latter or does it read differently if they both are "deity"?

in the beginning was the word, and the word was with the deity, and a deity was the word

I decided to look into this further because there are the unique nuances to any foreign language which more seasoned scholars would understand and there seem to be one that suggests it is proper to change the order. The absence of the article before Θεός could be meant to indicate that "god" is the predicate nominative of the phrase. Because Greek does not use word order quite the same as we do in English to indicate subject-object-predicate distinctions, there is ambiguity in a subject-predicate nominative construction. In such cases, the subject can be preceded with a definite article and the predicate nominative would have no definite article. I found this is called "Colwell's Rule" and it, too, is a point of controversy with non-trinitarian believers.

Yet, this rule is evident at 1 John 4:8:
ὁ Θεὸς ἀγάπηn ἐστίν which might seem to read "the god love is"

If "love" had a definite article, it would read "(the) love is god" but the definite article precedes "god" as in "(the) god is love." Its true meaning is a qualification of God rather than a deification of love.

Similarly, the absence of the article in John 1:1 may not indicate that Θεὸς is an indefinite noun as "a god," but that it is not the subject of the phrase. The absence of the article could assure the reader that "the Word" is the subject and that "God" is the predicate nominative of this phrase.

I have read about another argument in the use of Acts 28:6 that is translated as:
...But after they had waited a long time and had seen nothing unusual happen to him, they changed their minds and began to say that he was a god.

The Greek of that last phrase reads:
αὐτὸν εἶναι Θεόν

Certainly they would not mistake him for the God in this context and this translation of "a god" makes sense amidst of a polytheistic society where even great leaders were claimed to be gods. Also, notice that Θεόν in this phrase differs in that is also not in the subjective case but in the accusative case. Yes, different writers, but then comparing to the John 1:1, it comes to my mind that the author of John was specifically using the subjective case Θεὸς to make a point that it was God, subordinate to none, and not "a" god. Even authors today use improper grammar purposely to define a special point or make a phrase noticed and remembered.

There is also this from In the Salt Shaker

• 1st Position: Article - Noun/Subject - Noun/Predicate
  Here the construction must involve two nominative substantives, no modifier (like an adjective or participle). For one thing, an articular modifier is never placed in front of a noun it modifies. Then, if the anarthrous nominative is a modifier, this is an attributive position, not a predicate position. But, if both are substantives, the subject will be the one with an article, and the subject complement (put on the predicate side of the clause) will be anarthrous:
  ὁ Θεὸς πνεῦμα ("God is spirit.")


• 2nd Position: Predicate - Article - Noun/Subject
  Here, the second term, the articular nominative, always must be a substantive (a noun, or something functioning as a noun). If it is an adjective, preceded by an anarthrous noun, this would be an attributive position, not a predicate position. If the articular nominative is a substantive, the anarthrous nominative in front of it can be either a substantive or a modifier (like an adjective or participle). The articular nominative substantive is usually the subject, while the anarthrous nominative in front of it is the subject complement:
  πνεῦμα ὁ Θεός ("God is spirit.")


• 3rd Position: Noun/Subject - Noun/Predicate
  Here neither nominative will have an article. If one is a modifier and the other is a substantive, the modifier can be translated either as an attributive ("a good man") or as a subject complement ("a man is good"), depending on what seems to fit the context. But if both are nominative substantives, the first is usually translated as the subject, and the second as the subject complement:
  Θεὸς πνεῦμα ("God is spirit.")

So, there are three ways to express the same translation of "God is spirit" without interjecting an indefinite article.

John 1:1..."the"... "a"... or no article--does it really matter? Apparently it does. The translation of this verse is one of the greatest rifts in Christian religions dividing those who believe in a Triune God and those who do not.

However, let us push all theology aside and think about this from viewpoint of the author (it may not have been John himself) and his writing style. If the author believed in one God, what purpose would it have served to write that anyone, even Jesus, was "a god"? It would only confuse people with a polytheistic viewpoint and it would be heresy if the Word (Jesus) was not God. I cannot see the logic in translating this phrase as anything but "the Word was God."

In the end it is not what I was taught by by men that forms my beliefs today, but what the Lord has shown and continues to show to me. He radiates Truth and I welcome Truth to be revealed to me, even if the knowledge would tear apart the foundations of what I have believed. Better to be in the Truth than to hold fast to that which is not from God. So I ask again: Do you trust God enough to seek His Truth even if it shatters what you have believed until now?

~ Lord, the more I learn, the more I question what I have learned. You are the only source of Truth. May I be ever open to hearing it and keeping it in my heart. ~

A Little Girl Growning Up

We've had bad luck with children; they've all grown up. ~Christopher Morley

While out on an errand on Tuesday, we drove past a little store in the historic area of a nearby small town. It was a warm day and the front door was open. Glancing over I saw a pink nightstand. Now I have had it in the back of my mind to get the Princess a proper nightstand since she has really taken responsibility for organizing her room to her liking and maintaining it in a orderly fashion as well as cleaning it every Saturday―on her own and with zeal, I might add. (I am living the dream!) This has been going on for a few months so I have been looking for a white nightstand, white because the girl's room is pink and the shelves in her room, which originally was a large hutch of a china cabinet most likely, are painted white. I have been looking in thrift stores when I can but I just have not been finding anything.

The Princess asked if we could go back to see it, so we did. Upon closer inspection, it was a refinished piece done in pink, but distressed with the presently popular Shabby Chic look. It looked as if it would be a few inches lower than the surface of her bed and she did not like that so much, but otherwise she liked it. The price tag said $65 and the signs on the door read 20% off the entire sale. I told her we would think about it and we finished errands.

By the time we arrived at home again, the Princess was sure that she wanted it and had planned to pay for it herself with the money she had received as gifts and had been saving. I told her to measure the height of her bed and take the yardstick with us when we go back. In the evening her father suggested to her that she try to bargain with the shop owner to get a lower price. Even though I knew the price was reasonable as well as affordable for the Princess, we discussed her plan on the way there Wednesday afternoon.

The Princess was armed with the yardstick and all her gift money. I looked the piece over again to be sure it was functional and sturdy, and then I sat down in a chair to remove myself from the transaction. The shop owner was an easy mark and did not even know what hit her. The Princess looked over to her as she was sitting behind the counter and asked if she remembered us from yesterday. She did and then the Princess asked how much it would be with the 20% discount. Dazzled by the Princess' awkwardness, the lady blurted out that she would take 30% off before the child could begin her bargaining. Originally tagged at $65, it now was $45.50 plus tax, leaving it at under $50. Briefly, the Princess almost looked a bit disappointed that she did not get to bargain with the woman (or perhaps she was just taken back in surprise and relieved). Recovering, she confidently said she would take it.

My part was in the transport to home and carrying it into the house. Once in her bedroom, the Princess went to work emptying the three-drawer plastic cart that we had been using as a nightstand. We originally were using it in the closet when she was younger for odds and ends toys. As a nightstand it lacked a top rigid enough not to bow down in the middle so we had not placed the lamp on it. Now the Princess has a level study surface double the size to place her things on the top and two large drawers, which are quite organized now.

~ My Lord, thank you for Your guidance as my daughter grows up taking on greater responsibilities. ~

Church #3

My fear is not that our great movement, known as the Methodists, will eventually cease to exist or one day die from the earth. My fear is that our people will become content to live without the fire, the power, the excitement, the supernatural element that makes us great. ~John Wesley

There is nothing like a little tiff on the way to church that can taint your mood and your first impressions of a church to which you have never been before. Having a parking attendant telling where to park and asking you to move up just another six inches after you have placed the van in park would have been funny to us usually, but not that morning. We had arrived early and were directed to park next to the entrance, which I would have thought should be reserved for the handicapped, and why my husband had initially picked a space further away.

As churches go this was medium size by my standards, which meant in this place that every parking space is used and then some. The sanctuary had plenty of empty seats though, so it was not crowded but comfortably filled. A few people introduced themselves. One explained that during the worship time we could leave our seats and worship up in front or in the aisles and that the flags were there for anyone who wanted to use them. She seemed to be interested in making us feel comfortable. The Princess went for a pair of flags and stood waving them in the front as soon as the music started—and she still tries to claim that she is shy!

A well-rehearsed band led the praise and worship and went on for a long time, probably at least an hour, with people doing whatever they were comfortable doing during it. The music was bit loud for my taste and the songs were all unknown to us. At times, some people jumped up and down, some clapped, some shouted words of praise, some raised hands, and some were on their knees on the floor. The Princess was waving flags and changed them out for different colors and sizes at times.

There were Words of Knowledge, speaking in tongues, and healings, things we wanted to to see in the church service. My husband and I had come from conservative, traditional, conventional churches where you sit when you are told to sit, stand when you are told to stand, sing when you are told to sing, read responsively when you are told to do that, and the rest of the time you are to be quiet. This church was quite the opposite of that, more so than the first two churches we had visited...well, maybe not more so than Church #2, but there just were more people at this one so it had a different feel to it all.

There were people there of all ages and quite a few children. The senior pastor's wife is also a pastor and is the director of an accredited homeschool school—as odd as that sounds—that has classes two days a week for each grade and extra tutoring on Friday. After the service, which was for nearly 2½ hours, we were invited to have some food, mostly things like scones and cookies I think, but we declined after my husband saw the time because he needed to go to work a little later.

Now, I have to say that I probably would have liked it more if we not walked in with a bad attitude to start. I also have to say that at one point I began feeling like I could not stand any longer. I felt shaky from the anointing as I can when I am in prayer for healing someone. Following that the pastor shared a word of knowledge about someone there needing for a new disc in the spine and then there was a call for healing anyone with rheumatoid arthritis. Here I was with all these people who really believe in healing and I had felt workings of the Holy Spirit just before there was the call for healings! Wow! So very powerful! It was just so strange to me, as if this is how it should be and yet I felt like...well, I can only describe it as someone who has been gone from home for a very long time and then returning. It is familiar, but not, at the same time.

As we drove on our way home, I kept thinking how sad I was for people in churches who miss out on such workings of the Holy Spirit in their midst. I am sure wherever Jesus was that there was such things going on. Still, it is different for us as well, but we are ready for different. The Princess loved that everyone worshiped freely and while she was into the flag waving more than focusing on the  praise itself probably, at least she was participating and not at all not bored. While I like the praise and worship, and I feel they seek the Holy Spirit's leading, I felt the beginning of the sermon was delivered with a more hype than depth, but it certainly did end with soul searching and surrendering.

The Princess definitely wants to revisit this church—she is so shy! We feel we might like to go again also, hopefully starting out with better moods.

~ My Lord, I am enjoying the many ways my Christian brothers and sisters worship you. Thank you for this time to experience churches where the workings of the Holy Spirit are on fire, powerful, and exciting. ~

The Division Within

The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be perfect, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth, of inclination". ~C.S. Lewis

Some of the gifts of the Holy Spirit I have kept in secret with the exception of very close friends because it pleases my Lord to do so, perhaps because it makes people quite uncomfortable...or want to stone me in the street. However, very few know of my blog and most of them are kindred spirits in the Lord. I do not ask for people to be kind, but should you have concerns or disagree, I ask you to pray before you comment, to hear what the Lord has to say on the issue and respond as He has directed you.

We all know that there have always been people in the church who believe they are saved yet are not, but often we are surprised to find who they are once they confess...and this has been more common with pastors than people would like to believe. Our former pastor had been a pastor for a few years before he was saved and the one before him was in ministry for some time before she was saved.

I remember well when I first met a man in a church and knew he was not a believer. He knew all the right things to say and he was well liked, but he had not yet accepted Jesus as his Savior. I talked to him and he was very convincing in speech and action, but I could see his heart. This is called a Word of Knowledge. I did try to help him see that he was missing the mark, but he was completely convinced in this deception, as were others including his wife, who had been ill, and his children, which is why they were so surprised when his marriage fell apart and he announced being in a relationship immediately afterward. Even as my husband and I hoped for the best, we were not surprised at all, because we knew through Words of Knowledge.

I have a friend who sees something like a black veil over the faces of the unsaved and the saved to her would have a glow around the face. In fact, it was because of this gift that she approached my booth at a health fair, but that is a long story. I am just throwing this in to suggest that other people have such a gift to determine the state of another's soul even though the way the knowledge is revealed to them can be different than the way it is revealed to me.

One woman once was quite offended when I told her she was not a Christian, but I felt the Lord pressing me to be stern with her. I did not like it and she left in a huff. I prayed for her often and then I saw her a year later when she came to one of my seminars on health. Her face was glowing! I told her that I could tell something was different about her. Smiling she told me that certain events had happened after she saw me last, one was the pastor at the Unity church had thrown down the Bible and said it was unneeded. The other was she had read the Left Behind series. Afterward she joined a Bible study within a few months she became saved. Then she looked me sternly and said, "I want you to know that I really thought I was a Christian" and I replied "And God really wanted you to know you were not."

I have had discussions with many people over the years who have told me "we cannot know, therefore we cannot judge." They close the door on the entire idea saying that which is in the thoughts, mind, or heart of another person, even knowledge of what they have secreted in their hearts and will do before they have done it, only God can know. Yes, and only God does know...however, I believe God can give this knowledge to whomever He wills.

Then two questions follow:

Do you believe that God does give this knowledge?
If so, then do you believe He would give it to me?

If the first question does not trip up the unbelieving believer, the second one usually does. After all who am I to be given such knowledge that only Jesus had the power to know? I am no one special at all.

Not only are there the deceived and deceiving unbelievers, but there are unbelieving believers, those who are saved but have not come to The Surrendering, which I wrote about over two years ago on my blog. They are saved and often they are devoted, Bible-believing, God-loving people, but these things do not equate to The Surrendering. In the Nazarene denomination, it is called Sanctification and in other places it is known as Baptism of the Holy Spirit, but it is not necessarily a thing that happens when one is prayed over. It happened to me in a private place and a sincere prayer at the end of a 12-day fast without any witnesses. As I wrote in the last paragraph of that aforementioned post...

Those who have surrendered will understand, those who have not, will not, just as believers understand what unbelievers cannot.

Knowing that there have been some deceived into thinking they are believers, does it not follow that there would be even more people in our churches who are believers but are not surrendered to the Holy Spirit and some of them would be in positions of authority in the church? Those who believe Jesus died for their sins, and who talk the Christian talk and walk the Christian walk, but really are not listening to God, therefore are not obeying Him? And if God judges hearts and chooses to reveal this to one who will listen, is it possible that this knowledge has been revealed?

I have learned that respecting church elders does not mean they should never be challenged, because I had been called to challenge. I understand now that longevity or position in a church does not gain favor with God, as it can with man. In fact, people in position who are not obeying God can hinder the task God has placed on the church. I have always known that God looks at the heart and that the knowledge is often passed on to me, but I resisted hearing it. I chose to close my heart to the knowledge previously in my former church, but during this last trial, when I was faced with opposition, I questioned over and over if I was being obedient and I was given confirmation of my obedience...and yet even more opposition came from my fellow Christians, who just were not hearing God. I know that He wanted me to see what I would not accept, what I did not want to believe, what sickening me, literally.

I read somewhere that many things that can divide a church. The five main ones are:

• Pride
• Heresy 
• Legalism
• Distrust
• Traditionalism

It is the last one that is the most subtle of Christian idolatry and so suppressive of the workings of the Holy Spirit.

God does not say to one "lead the church to the right" and to another "lead the church to the left." He will challenge us and direct us to do different things within the church, but He does not divide His House. There are those who hear and obey, those who hear and do not obey, and those who just do not hear at all. There are no gray areas here. There was a time to remain silent and then came the time to speak out in obedience to my Lord. One must hear to obey and all else is disobedience in the eyes of the Lord. To call disobedience anything else, in an attempt soften the edges of it so it would be inoffensive, is to enable it to continue. The outcome is a church that is of no good to the Lord it claims to honor.

My husband told me this trial would make us stronger a few evenings ago when I felt like a failure. I am seeing it now. I will continually work on keeping my heart open to whatever God will reveal to me and act in obedience regardless of what it will cost me...and this last trial did cost me, but what is that in comparison to Christ?

Those who have surrendered will understand, those who have not, will not.

~ My Lord, may all who read here be surrendered to You. ~

Risking on Faith

And Samuel prayed to the Lord.The Lord said to Samuel, “Listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them. ~Samuel 8:7

I have been trying to pinpoint why I felt so disturbed as I wrote about Church #2 for my last post. It was not that there was anything wrong with the church, perhaps more that there was so much right about it. The only initial impression that may have been a weakness is that few people that came up to introduce themselves to us as newcomers, but then the pastor was speaking to us immediately after the service ended, so they may have not wished to interrupt, and we, as well as half of them, had come into the service late so we did not get a chance to meet the people earlier.

What disturbed me is we were in a church that truly is led and seeks to be actively led by the Holy Spirit. It is such a contrast from where we had come. I felt the Lord's presence with me as I did praise and worship at our former church, but before that...um, church was sometimes just a thing we did because we should, even though I wanted to feel and see the evidence of God's presence. Most of the time, however, there was no refreshing of our spirits. Feeling the presence of the Lord churchwide was seldom, often without excitement or even anticipation. It had become not much more that a Christian social club and even in that it was failing as most of the people did not socialize outside of church events...well, at least not with us.

My husband mentioned that at times he felt we wasted four years of our lives, but he is just voicing his own emotions as we go through this transition and we know that we had been called there. The thing I have questioned is whether God had wanted us to stay so long. On the other hand, I know He had not called us out until recently. Being a logic-driven analytical person and seeking the illogical of whisperings, miracles, and wonders as Spirit-led Christian is complicated.

The rub is that we grew in our faith so much in our former church and we felt we were being used by God as an example, probably since we came there. They all had faith in God, but they endured on faith and few really risked on faith. We had also endured on faith when my husband lost his job, but God revealed to me which company would hire him; I asked God was that he would be hired before his last severance check and God said he would and he was. About two years later God asked us to risk on faith: there was the 40-day fast, doubling our tithe, then the blessing of a job offer from out of blue when not seeking one just before we ran out of money from the extra tithing—that was what God wanted from us there: to grow and show. In retrospect, the fast prepared us to take a risk on faith with our finances by doubling our tithe for six months and we were blessed so that we could continue to tithe the same amount and pay off our debt within two years. We acted on faith, we stepped out on our faith, and we were blessed because we grew in trusting our Lord. God gave the other church members the same opportunity to risk on faith whatever He wanted from them, as it would be different for each, but who heard His call? Only one other shared such a thing. No one else did and how does one keep such a thing secret when it happens? How does it glorify God when such things are kept secret?

Our former church wanted a pastor who would lead them, but this desire was not one to be satisfied. God even took that away from them and still they wanted a leader instead of hearing Him directly, instead of hearing the messages He sent them through the guest pastors, and instead of praising Him for how He brought together His messages in the music and speaking without communication between those pastors and me involved! Through the last months we were there, the Lord kept reminding me about the story of Samuel and how the people of Israel wanted a king like all the other nations. I felt I was being led by God every week I chose the songs and led praise and worship. Yet, I was like Samuel, displeased that they were not hearing God and accepting His leadership. I began getting opposition about the songs chosen and God was telling me that it was not I but He who they were rejecting. I was so torn; it literally was tearing me up to be in the middle and to watch it unfold before me.

Last night I realized that I still had something bothering me. I realized that even as I tried to stand strong, the opposition I received constantly made me question if I was hearing God or if I had gone off, as some religious leaders have, on the power of the position and I was the one claiming I was acting on God's leading when it really was just my own. (As I was writing the last sentence, I felt the Lord tell me something else. When the Lord's will is also your desire, His will is your own. There are times when you are desiring as God desires that it seems like you are racing along in the middle of the track and not bumping into any of the side rails. I suppose I feel more secure when I am bumping in the side rails. Perhaps I should ask for a very narrow track.) I fought against my own ego, trying to focus on what God wanted and every Sunday I would see the blessing, the confirmation, that I had listened and obeyed my Lord, so from where did the opposition come?

Who there prayed not for what they wanted but for what God wanted in song and worship? Who prayed that our service would please Him instead pleasing themselves? Who prayed and heard what God had to say on the matter and share it with us all, with me? This is what was written to me: "personally, I would like...." Where is God in this statement? Personally, I would have liked to take me and my personal desires out of the whole thing and just please my Lord...and I worked so hard at this, but in the end it came down to pleasing those who wanted it their way or pleasing my Lord. I chose Him. Which would they rather I have chosen?

Every week became a risk on faith. I had only a few voiced encouragements but no real confirmation that I was following my Lord's desires from the members within the church; confirmation came only from prayerful believers outside of the church and from the Lord. The church is people I respect, who had shared their love of the Lord, who had worshiped with us for four years. Because of that, their opposition and their silence made me doubt I was hearing my Lord far more than anything ever has my entire life. I lost confidence in my own faith and leadership. I doubted that I was hearing God or that I ever had. If this weekly risking on faith was a trial for me, I think I failed. I often wondered if our former pastor felt the same.

Yet, my husband tells me that he was proud what we did there and that he believes we have grown in faith from this experience. He talks about how he planned the Christmas Eve service and how he was going to do it one way, but the night before he could not sleep and felt a strong leading to change it so that it had a portion just for the children and then, without us knowing in advance, we had quite a few children that night, the confirmation from our Lord again. He said it was then that he began to really understand what I had been experiencing every week and how God confirmed what He wanted within the service. Those side rails are reassuring but they can be an ouchie when you begin going your own direction and bump into them.

I was talking to a friend recently and I was surprised at my own passion as I said that I wanted my daughter to see the works of God, to know them, and expect them. I want her to see that God's healings and miracles do not only happen in far away foreign countries for us to read about in books, that He does not hold back His gifts according to geography and every need is equal to Him as is every sin. I felt it was such a shame that three members of our former church had surgeries scheduled in the past few months and not one of them came up to the altar asking for prayer to be healed--yes, healed! They asked for prayer for their upcoming surgeries and healing after the surgery, but not one of them gave God the opportunity to be glorified and for the people to be blessed by receiving or seeing a miracle, for my daughter to witness their faith and God's work. They asked for prayer, of course, but they did not step out in faith, they did not risk. That is not the kind of faith I want for my daughter—actually, I do not want so little faith for myself either.

~ My Lord, You are my Source and my Guide. I wish to be what You need for me to be and risk on faith. Help me to want that even more. ~

Church #2

There is one grand, all-comprehending church; and if I am a Christian, I belong to it, and no man can shut me out of it. ~William E. Channing

We invited a family from our former church over for lunch as they have become good friends. We ate hamburgers that were half beef and half rabbit. Then their six year old daughter and the Princess played together inside and out, while we adults played a game called Pass the Pigs that is the latest and greatest tickle for my friend, so much that she takes it everywhere with her in her purse—I know, scary but true. Not seeing each other on Sundays mornings anymore, we have lots to talk about and talk we did...to the past the time that we should have prepared to leave to visit to Church #2 at before its service started; we did make it just fifteen minutes late.

This church meets on Sunday nights. It owns the building, but another church meets on Sunday mornings there that we might also add to our visit list; how can we pass up a church with a name like Hearts on Fire? Church #2 is a small church with no children and just a few teens, or so it seems as about a third of the people were involved in another event/ministry that night.

We walked into the music portion of the worship service. The first thing we all noticed is that some of the people had brightly colored, but plain, silk flags that they waved as they were singing as the Spirit moved them, I was thinking. At first it was attention taking because it was new to us, but then it seemed relaxing and almost like a spiritual cleansing of the sanctuary. This was something new and different for us. Since then I have researched it and found that banners are traditionally symbolic in the Bible for various things and recently seemed to be revived in the worship services of some churches.

My daughter was tired after the afternoon of play and made it obvious, as she hid her face by tilting her head down with hair falling around it, that she was not in the mood for a church this different. She felt uncomfortable and did not seem to join in the Spirit of the worship.

I also felt outside of my element, which I found quite ironic. Had I not introduced a number of songs in our former church that the other members did not know? Did it not make them uncomfortable? What did I encourage them to do? To just listen and pray instead of trying to sing? To worship the Lord as the Spirit moved them? This is what both my husband and I did.

Sometimes we sang, sometimes we prayed. Most of the people did exactly the same. Some moved around to different areas of the sanctuary and some swayed, and I would not have been surprised if any had broke out in dance, but none did. We did not stand because we felt our daughter needed extra attention and we both talked to her off and on. She asked about the banners and I encouraged her to ask the people after the service.

The songs portion was quite long all in live performance videos being projected and we only knew the very last song, but there were lyrics on the screen and they repeated a lot, so we could sing along. I found myself often just listening and worshiping God in my heart—such a sweet anointing there! It was just truly worshiping the Lord in song within the repetition. I don't know what we missed at the beginning that may have introduced the praise and worship, but later the pastor referred to the time as "loving on the Lord." Yes, that is exactly how it felt.

There were few people. It is a very small church, but God is not mentioned as a Someone we hope to impress, a bystander, or the Lord with which we are to get right, but as the God we love, praise, worship, acknowledge unabashed, boldly as if He is honored in every thought...as He should be. The Holy Spirit was not a second thought thrown in for good measure; He is the Leader of this church. That is how they talked of Him and I could see it, I could feel it, I loved it!

The pastor and his wife, also a pastor, had spoken as one of visiting pastors a few times in our former church. His messages were always exactly what we needed to hear at the time they were given. They remembered us and thought that our former church may have closed, but we explained after the services that we had resigned and the church is continuing so far.

He said that his gift is in prophetic teaching. Among other things, we were given handouts of the Hebrew calendar and invited to the Rosh Chodesh Adar Celebration on February 10th. Rosh Chodesh is the name for the first day of every month in the Hebrew calendar, marked by the appearance of the new moon. This church observes the Hebrew celebrations, which my husband and I find very appealing also. This celebration is simply a potluck dinner. We were also invited to have a meal with the pastor and his wife. I will be writing them an email thanking them for welcoming us.

They do not have membership and he mentioned that he could not find any Biblical reason for it—interesting. However, they are absolutely open to anything the Lord is leading them to do whatever it may be, even if it is to begin having membership. Such desire to please and obey our Lord! It really is so very rare beyond the talk, but I believe these people do have it.

I really was surprised how accepting my husband was of the differences in worship and how much my daughter was not, although I think if she had been offered a flag...she would have been into it. Although it might not have what our daughter would like, such as children her age, she would have such a good opportunity to learn about the celebrations and rituals Jesus honored and how to come to a real personal relationship with Lord. We could learn much within this church. It is also on our revisit list. It has been in the back of my mind that we might be involved with two churches and this would be one of them, but as they would say, that depends on the Holy Spirit and I only desire to please my Lord.

~ My Lord, thank you for the opportunity to worship You in this unique and loving place. I ask you bless this church and its pastors. ~