Sunday, December 18, 2011

Looking Truth in the Eye

Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless we love the truth, we cannot know it. ~Blaise Pascal

Have I come to God with the faith of a child, trusting and honest? Would my beliefs withstand His scrutiny? Can I be as fearlessly honest with my Lord, with myself, with everyone, as my Lord has always been?

Ever since reading the book, To Be Perfectly Honest, I have been toying with the idea of making a resolution to be absolutely truthful for one year, actually for the rest of my life but I might chronicle my struggle with the first year here on this blog.

I usually do not make New Year's resolutions...well, I should say that when I have made such resolutions in more recent years, I did not make them public so that my failures would remain unknown. Resolutions are about changing habits, so the question would be is do I make a habit of lying? In all honesty, I have lied--such a very strange confession now that I see it in writing. I try not to lie, but when I have made the choice to do so I had a good rationalization like it would hurt someone more to tell the truth or it could be used against me. I pretty sure that my Lord would see my rationalizations as a thin veil attempting to cover the sin in my heart.

I do not like making oaths because I feel I would not agree to do anything that I should already be doing, but...again, in all honesty, I have not been doing what I should or else I would not consider making this commitment.

How honest have I been? Mostly, I am an honest person, but not all the time. I will tell myself that I was being tactful or just stretching the truth a bit or telling the story as I wish it had happened or protecting someone's feelings or just acting to make it work better for everyone. I have probably dozens of rationalizations that I have used to calm any guilt feelings.

I do not like hurting people's feelings with honesty, as righteous as it is. I have done it. I have lost friends by doing it--I have so few friends these days. I suppose I should think it is better to lose a few friends by being honest than to hurt my relationship with God through dishonesty.

Where does one draw the line with honesty? I suppose there should be no line, but...you know, this is far more complicated than it should be and I suspect that is because of my denial of dishonesty. I believe being honest will simplify my life and maybe it does after the veils of lies are shed.

You know that old axiom: Be careful for what you pray? I am almost afraid to pray about being honest. I just know that numerous situations will emerge in which I will struggle with being honest. Yet, I also believe I am being led to do this.

So, here I am ready to continue on with my journey to be more like Jesus than I have been. Would you like to come along...honestly?

~ My Lord, my faith is in You. I am unable to be honest on my own, only through You can I attempt to be a disciple of Your Truth. ~

4 comments:

  1. I do *not* want to come along! :D I understand the dilemma all too well. There are Christians who have banned fiction books for being *lies* & I have a problem with that because I see books as a different sort of truth. Are there different sorts of truth? I think so. There is the truth so far as we know it & then there is the truth as God knows it. There is the truth of the hearth & spirit & emotions as oppossed to the truth of facts. I think I would end up in a worse muddle than you. Pilate had it right. What is truth?

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  2. Ganeida, are you trying to out complicate me now? Challenge!

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  3. Good heavens, No! I am quite capable of getting me in a tither all on my own ~ I just don't call it that. ☺ Please do consider the name of my blog. 'Nuff said.

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  4. Not enough said...on being truthful! I will be posting another blog on this subject.

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Thank you fellow travelers for walking and talking with me along this journey.