Monday, December 7, 2015

The Wolves Dressed as Sheep

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. ~John 10:27

When my husband has the opportunity, like being a chaperon to boys on the recent school retreat, he often teaches on the analogy of sheep, sheepdogs, wolves, and shepherds. He told me that he sees me as a sheepdog, one who tries to hide among the sheep yet when necessary puts herself in harms way to protect the sheep from the wolves. I have this very strong driving desire to stop any harm or injustice or just of people being taken advantage. I want to break its cycle or at least make it known so the unsuspecting have the chance to be aware. Once I have become aware of such wrongs I just cannot allow them to continue to hurt more people. I suppose it comes partially from being abused as a child that I will step into things even when not wanted or asked to protect the ones who need it.

I like the idea of the sheepdog, but I do not always like being one, hence the reason that unlike other sheepdogs, who stay separate but close to watch the flock and herd them, I tend to stay even closer to herd, in it on the edges, hiding among their woolly bodies. Sometimes I think I would rather be just one of the sheep, but I never really believe that I am anything other than a sheepdog.

Being hidden by the herd, I have come unintentionally face-to-face with many a wolf also hiding in with the sheep, those that have placed wool over their coats fooling the sheep, even the sheepdogs sometimes. Some of these wolves slipped in to cause all out havoc; they know they are wolves and they are proud of their stealth. However, some of those wolves have been among the herd for so long they have become comfortable, almost losing their identities, seemingly wanting to live in peace among the sheep, even though they are still wolves. Those wolves are the ones who do not attack the sheep in a herd but lead the weaker willed away from the herd.

After asking my Lord "why?" for weeks with all that has happen with the Princess, my Lord turned it back around and asked me why I had not used the gifts He had given me.

He kept reminding me that I was given gifts to be used, that they were not given for me to try to not use. I have not like being dependent on them or for others to be dependent on me because of them nor for others to avoid me because of them, but God wants them to be used. 

He also was reminding me that our struggle is not against flesh and bone, but spiritual forces. I know this is true, but when it comes to spiritual warfare, I really much rather be an ignorant sheep. Apparently, though, my Lord wants me to be the sheepdog that I am.

So, I used the gift. As an empath, I can know many things about a person, but while some things are so obvious to me that I just know them without any effort (and often without wanting to), other things are more hidden in deeper places, masked. What still amazes me is I even can know whether or not a person has given their life to Christ.

My internal struggle with this gift has been that I do not always want to know the things I can know about people. For as many years as I have had this gift, I have struggle with it. I have kept it hidden, yet not really because I have this strong desire to help people. I have openly used it, but not really because I fear it. It just seemed safer to hide in with the sheep, but I am a sheepdog and it is obvious to me now that I never have pretended to be a sheep. I feel that my Lord is guiding me to come to terms with this once and for all, because now it is my daughter who being lead away by the wolves appearing to be sheep or even sheepdogs.

Although I forgave all, I had still been perplexed by the letter I received mentioned in the last few paragraphs of Why seekingmyLord? Something was not settled in my spirit. As I was talking to my Lord this and He asked me if I had discerned if the sender was a Christian. I realized I had not.

In the letter sent to me, it was stated that I had made assumptions...and my Lord pointed out that I had. I had assumed the woman was a Christian and now I know she is not. Outwardly, she does everything a Christian would do and she hides among the sheep very well, but I was just not willing to see that the letter revealed what was in her heart—actually what was lacking in her heart. I would have known this weeks ago, if I only had used my gift and if I had known then, things would have been handled differently from my side. Instead of treating everything as one believer to another both connected to God and seeking His guidance, I would have treated it as it was one believer to an unbeliever.

Actually, there were two wolves among the sheep in my daughter's life: one at the school and one at our church. I expected the latter because we welcome the unsaved and it was a teenager, but the other one was a teacher at the Christian Home Study Center and my daughter's chaperon on the retreat, a wolf with authority not just over my daughter but others, as a shepherd would give a sheepdog authority to protect his herd...that one was unexpected. My daughter, still a little sheep, was led astray easily by both and the wonderful opportunities she had been given were taken from her.

These people who are wolves among the sheep are not my enemy, but Satan is and he can use them so easily because they are not following the Shepherd and are not protected by His sheepdogs. This woman does not recognize the wrong she did to my family, because she is a wolf and she just did what wolves do. The problem is not that she is a wolf, it is that she has hidden it so well that she has everyone convinced she is a sheep, perhaps to the point she is seen as worthy to be a sheepdog, and she has even convinced herself of this. I believe she knows a lot about God and how Christians should be, but does not really know Him in her heart. How terribly sad for her! I will be praying that she accepts My Lord as her Savior.

I am determine to come to terms with using the gifts as my Lord gave to me, because my instincts are to protect one particular young sheep who is being targeted quite pointedly by the wolves. But, also, I know that people who profess to be Christian and are not, manifest this self deception, this soul sickness, in many ways, including physical illnesses. And yet it only takes accepting Jesus because my Lord wishes that not even one should perish.

My Lord, thank you for opening my eyes. I pray that You given this woman every opportunity to know You within her heart. Help me, my Lord, to use the gifts You have given me as You wish with wisdom and without fear. And protect my daughter, give her wisdom and a strong desire to follow You.

1 comment:

  1. We have also noticed spiritual sickness manifesting physically. Yet those concerned cannot see it & do not know it & still think they are sheep being attacked. Too sad!

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Thank you fellow travelers for walking and talking with me along this journey.