Friday, June 23, 2017

Wash and Dry

The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God’s love for us does not. -C.S. Lewis

The water pressure was going so low that if someone ran water at the kitchen sink, anyone in the shower immediately experienced a very cold drizzle. I logically know it is such things are temporary inconveniences but in my present emotional state, logic is being over powered by the emotional need for stability. I mentioned that I thought the water filters needed changing before my husband left to work out of state, because I knew he planned to fly from there to Florida. He simply said the water pressure is always lower in the summer, which did not sit well with me. I have lived here for twenty years and am home far more than he, so I think I know the difference, but he came home Monday and had the opportunity to experience a personal shower demonstration—and perhaps there is a reason that "demon" is in that word.

The water filters were replaced on Tuesday.

Speaking of washing, everyone pitches in on laundry here, but mostly everyone does their own unless it is convenient to add similar colors found in the hamper. I was going to do my wash on Wednesday, but I have the bed sheets to change and then Thursday, but my husband started his own load. So I thought later that day or Friday, but as things go here for me lately, the dryer began to make a horrible noise as my husband's laundry was finishing up. He took apart the dryer to find that one of the drum rollers had a bad bearing so I ordered the drum roller online with overnight shipping.

Now I have to say here that I have been under stress for a long while now, second guessing, and triple checking everything, worried about missing something with handling the affairs of two houses and nursing home care that requires two separate bank accounts for the Queen Mother that have to be handled in very specific and different ways. And I was handling it pretty well, was being the operative word. This week I found that I had become pretty frayed at all the seams. My husband too, but his only added to mine becoming more unraveled. I write this so that you might understand that what happened was probably inevitable.

I ordered the right parts but I typed in my zip code wrong, transposing two numbers...something I would never do unless I am in the emotional state I am in (that I tried to convince myself I am not in). So our overnight package did not make it today as it should have...and will not possibly make it this weekend.

Then...I did what any woman frayed at the seams and unraveling would do realizing that she just added more unnecessary stress to her present state, I cried! Yes, I am there at that place, breaking down over things that are just largely the small bumps in the road of life and again taking higher dosages of Valerian.

My Lord, remind me that the shifting sands do not move the solid rock. Be my foundation for everything.

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Thank you fellow travelers for walking and talking with me along this journey.