Me, Myself, and Not I

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking. ~Albert Einstein

I guess I am just a follower because Ganieda posted "Me, Myself, I" and invited others to do the same. It is difficult to get past all the I's, but if truth be told, it is the one word we all use the most when we speak, so...I will take a risk in boring my poor readers in hopes that I will not scare off the few I have. These things are kind of a barometer indicating where you are emotionally and spiritually when you take them though...first, my serious answer and then my...uh, other side?

I Am...
complicated.
(here on the planet Earth with you. Where do you think you are?)

I want...
to stop thinking in the terms of "I want."
(to win the lottery just once, just to see if it will really ruin my life. I suppose it will not happen because I do not buy the tickets.)

I Should...
be praying.
(be making dinner instead of trying to think of a witty answer.)

I Wish...
I could sleep with tigers.
(I could top the "sleeping with tigers" answer.)

I Hate...
hearing the words "I hate" unless it comes from my Lord.
(hate...not original but true.)

I Fear...
having regrets.
(trains when I am tied up on the tracks, stampedes when they are coming at me, bridges falling down when I am on them...on second thought, it would be a shorter list to name what I do not fear.)

I Hear...
songs in my head most of the time.
(other people gossip way too much, but I am not one to talk about it. You need to listen to the lady over there to know what I mean.)

I Search...
for knowledge, understanding, and wisdom.
(for my lost mind, although I am never sure when or if it is lost.)

I Wonder...
how God bears hearing every sorrow and seeing every tear every moment.
(if my cat really thinks that beginning his demands for food at two o'clock in the afternoon will motivate me to feed him even one second earlier than five o'clock.)

I Regret...
wanting to do things my way instead of my Lord's and being anxious for nearly everything instead of for nothing.
(not eating more ice cream, cheesecake, brownies, and chocolate...without regrets!)

I Love...
my Lord, my husband, my daughter, and my friends.
(everyone and everything for at least a few seconds every day before I am really awake.)

I Always...
feel I should be doing more than I am.
(wish someone else could do my work so I could just do the fun stuff.)

I Usually...
try not to have expectations of other people, so I am not easily disappointed.
(am disappointed by the people in whom I have expectations and I really wish they would stop doing that.)

I Am Not...
comfortable in groups, but I love getting to know individuals.
(really who people think I am, but I can live with their delusions.)

I Dance...
nearly every day just because I like it.
(but Nazarenes do not dance. This is where our theologies part ways. Too bad, so sad for them.)

I Sing...
not as well as I would like, but I do enjoy it.
(just to torture people.)

I Never...
say never.
(have met a chocolate I did not like.)

I Rarely...
do the things I would really like to do.
(turn off my computer...pathetic, isn't it?)

I Cry...
when something makes me happy or sad, when I pray, when I have not had enough sleep, and sometimes for no known reason.
(whenever I really want sympathy and it actually works! Word of caution: Overuse reduces effectiveness.)

I Am Not Always...
as compassionate as I believe I should be.
(all that interesting. Duh!)

I Lose...
myself in reading.
(that mind of mine, but I am sure it is around here somewhere.)

I’m Confused...
by immoral people and liberals.
(probably because I have lost my mind. What would you expect?)

I Need...
less than I think I do.
(everything I could buy if I won the lottery!)

I Have...
hope.
(my mind after all...I think.)

~ My Lord, You know me better than I know myself and You know what I need more than I do. ~