Thursday, January 21, 2016

Fasting is Not Easy

The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world.
~John Piper, A Hunger for God

I started officially prepping for the fast one week ago today, although I actually started a few days before by simply eating less at meals. When I officially started I began eating more live and raw foods and with a couple of evening meals of turkey soup, mostly broth. On Monday I officially (and reluctantly) started the fast.

This fast is not water only, but more of a play it by how goes kind of thing. For instance, yesterday was my errand day. I was kind of weak in the morning and about halfway through my shower, I felt like I might pass out; this even though I drink about two ounces of raw milk watered down to a 1:1 ratio before bedtime. After spending about five minutes with my head down, I finally was able to finish up quickly and drink some diluted raw milk. Then I had to lie down for about 20 minutes for my body to assimilate the nutrients and level out.

Afterwards I was better, but I was concerned about being out all day so I made a thin smoothie to take with me as well as warm tea—I so love my new thermal mug that keeps it warm all the day! I sipped on both and still had over half of my smoothie left when we returned home and I had no issues with fatigue beyond the usual.

Last night I kept feeling like I had not slept. I think I woke up about every hour thinking I had been lying awake the entire time. I did not want to leave my bed but once up, I had so much more energy than I have has this week! Stepping on the scales pleasingly revealed that I still loss weight. So far, I have lost seven pounds. My goal is to lose eighteen, which is a bit under the weight I consider a good balance for me. I go a bit under because I tend to gain a two to four pounds after the fast ends, depending on how carefully I come off the fast.

Fasting is not easy, especially when going grocery shopping for the family. Everything smells absolutely delicious. I can actually smell apples as I pass them, and I probably always do, but their aroma never gets my attention as much as when I fast. Oh, and all those signs with food on them! Yes, I notice them always, but when fasting, they appeared to have been magnified. I do not watch regular TV but I know from past experience that the food commercials are far more enticing as well and there seems to be so many more of them. I am not even going to mention the food that is just sitting in my house readily available to my reach and the fighting the familiar habit of reaching for a snack—a habit I should not even have!

No matter the reason for fasting or what type of food fast or how experienced I have become with fasting for the last 25 years, it is always the same. It is just a matter of will, but when I write "just," it is not to suggest fasting is easy. It is hard. There is the struggle against the physical and the spiritual with the emotional ping-ponging between them. I did not have a specific spiritual agenda for this fast although for me there is always a spiritual benefit, even if unexpected and not even conceived. Mostly, I needed to restore myself and my health.

I already have less hip pain regardless how I sit, but it still has a ways to go. The base of the neck has only slight tightness after I wake up and it disappears in an hour or two. My face looks younger with all puffiness eliminated. Before this fast, I was having a bit of sinus pressure with headaches and draining, but that disappeared while I was still in the fast prep stage. Of course, my clothes are fitting better, with those extra layers in trying to keep warm.

All in all, the fast is going well. I am hoping that I will meet my target weight in the first week of February....hoping. I will say that I have kept my weight within certain limits, as I vowed to do when I was a teenager. Not too bad for a girl who used to be called "thunder thighs."

Thank you, my Lord, for the healing during a fast. Even though it is challenging, it has rewards.