Vertical Socialization

Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
~Proverbs 22:6

I would like to confess one of my concerns about homeschooling an only child and it has something to do with that dreaded "s" word that so many use to criticize homeschooling—(whispering) yes, it is socialization. It has, at times, concerned me. Some people, people I actually respect who have employees or acquaintances formally homeschooled, have expressed they have seen often that homeschooling does not provide diverse enough socialization and that some socialization skills have been...underdeveloped, perhaps. Granted, there are some experiences that my daughter may not have until she is older, but I am not so sure that she needs to have them until she is more mature.

My Princess is a highly social creature. She loves people of all ages. She is respectful, accommodating, and quite lady-like with ill and elderly people, willing to sit and just hold their hand while they talk about things. She is a giggly, enthusiastic, bundle of energy with children and teens, who often must be reminded to settled down when inside. She is a sweet, watchful, big sister to babies and toddlers. On stage, she is like a peacock as she poises herself demurely, but at ease, before she surprises her audience with dazzling talents. She just naturally becomes what is appropriate in each situation, not that she is perfect and does not need a reminder or two now and then, but in her I am well pleased.

So, just why do I find myself worrying about her being an only child as she is homeschooled? I suppose we all have those moments of doubt as a parent. I read that people think they make something like 14.4 food-related decisions per day when in reality it is more like an average of more than 221. Of those over 200 food-related decisions, many are in regards to my daughter and then there are all those other decisions that I make daily in regards to her compounded by homeschooling itself: if she will play inside or outside; if she can play with the neighbors; which lessons are we going to cover today; what books we will read; what words I will pick for her daily spelling quiz; will we read on the porch, on the picnic blanket outside, or snuggled together on the couch. On and on it goes! I am keenly aware that each decision I make will affect this being my Lord placed in my care. I still feel I am called by my Lord to homeschool this only child, so the only decision there was to do as my Lord wills or to go against Him. Since I have decided to do as the Lord wills on this, I believe firmly that my Lord will provide what she needs, and He has in so many ways and so very timely also.

Still, there is that...you know, that (whispering) "s" word...that some seem so concerned about and once in awhile it gets to me as well, but I recently read this:

Thomas Smedley prepared a master's thesis for Radford University of Virginia on "The Socialization of Homeschool Children." Smedley used the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales to evaluate the social maturity of twenty home-schooled children and thirteen demographically matched public school children. The communication skills, socialization, and daily living skills were evaluated. These scores were combined into the "Adoptive Behavior Composite" which reflects the general maturity of each subject.

Smedley had this information processed using the statistical program for the social sciences and the results demonstrated that the home-schooled children were better socialized and more mature than the children in the public school. The home-schooled children scored in the 84th percentile while the matched sample of public school children only scored in the 27th percentile.

Smedley further found that:

In the public school system, children are socialized horizontally, and temporarily, into conformity with their immediate peers. Home educators seek to socialize their children vertically, toward responsibility, service, and adulthood, with an eye on eternity.

Now if that does not put it all into perspective! This is what I see in my daughter. She is being socialized vertically and, quite frankly, is that not how my Lord wants us all to be socialized? Are we not to seek a relationship with Him, to please Him, to be like my Lord Jesus? Is that not also vertical socialization, something we should be doing all our lives? Should we out grow this need to be socialized vertically, cut the apron strings to God, so to speak, as some people think our children need to have their apron stings cut from their parents?

Interesting perspective. I definitely like the idea of vertical socialization!

~ My Lord, thank you for the opportunity to seek You, to learn from You. I pray that my family is vertically socialized for all eternity. ~