Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan. ~Margaret Thatcher
I had been very disturbed since the farmers' market offer. There is another event on April 14th that will cause many people to have to walk through the market area and the manager was really hoping to have things in place, so there was this urgency. Also he has buyers for sourdough, not potential buyers but people going there especially to buy sourdough bread. Very tempting and I felt very rushed in making a decision. Then it has been difficult to talk to my husband, who is in the UK this week. We have Skyped twice, but the day I really needed to talk with him was the day he lay down to take a nap, which continued to the next morning. Time changes are the hard part of traveling. Since the UK is five hours ahead of us, it makes for odd times for both of us to connect also.
Yesterday the Princess and I had a bad day with lessons. She took all morning on math and I was making bread, testing a basic white sourdough bread that the market buyers would want and seeing how it would all go. Homeschooling is one of my highest priorities and I kept wondering how much her studies might suffered or how stressful it would be for both of us, if I added this new time obligation into our lives. By the late afternoon when my husband Skyped, I was ready to just cry on his two dimensional, cyber shoulder, but I did not want him worrying about me. We discussed my dilemma without tears and I finally came to the conclusion that I should not do anything with the farmers' market at this time.
Then I felt at peace for the first time since it all began.
I have this hope that the Princess and I will one day be doing art shows with both her art and mine. That is where I need to place our priority, I believe. For now I feel I should concentrate on working my gardens and getting my house in order so I feel good about doing artwork. Somehow I do not have guilty feelings and relax better when I am drawing and painting if my house looks nice. I suppose I feel that doing art is truly self-indulgent, but my daughter does art all the time and she is pulling me back into it with a different perspective. Lately, she has been doing comic strips with a girl and a tiger that look very different but are somewhat similar to Calvin and Hobbs. For years she has been doing stick people in all kinds of positions; my favorites are the ones doing acrobatics holding onto ropes or falling from them. I need to post some pictures soon.
The interesting part is since I began thinking of selling at the farmers' market, my plans have now solidified and do not look so overwhelming as they did before. (A change of perspective is an amazing thing!) I have enough to do especially with a traveling husband who works 60-90 hours a week even when he is in town, but these are the things I really want to do, that I enjoy and perhaps just exactly what God wishes for me to do at this time. I am thankful to the Lord that I have done or am doing just about everything I really wanted during my life. I still want to make my own soap for us, to give as presents, and maybe sell to friends, all of which I really would like to begin this year, and I want to sell my artwork along with the Princess at shows in the near future.
All of this is Plan A and for now, it seems I need to work on this plan, because it gives me peace, suggesting to me that it really is God's will.
~ My Lord, I did not hear You on this and I felt lost as to what to do, but You still gave me the sign I needed. ~
