Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Compromise?

You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. ~Matthew 12:34

Have you ever felt that you have been compromising to the point that you have become compromised? Odd how the word "compromise" can suggest a mutually good result as an agreement, but just add a "d" on the end and it becomes something bad as in giving up too much.

When one does not compromise, others may see the person as hardhearted or hardheaded; they would prefer a softer, seemingly more loving approach. It might make everyone get along better, but not always honestly. Sometimes compromising works against the greater good...and against God's purpose.

A few weeks ago the Princess and one of her friends, I will call Lyssa, told another girl, Nancy, in the neighborhood that they would not come to her birthday pool party. Nancy is one who is highly manipulative and can be rather mean when she does not get her way. Although Lyssa has been playing with her since they could walk, being that they live so close together, both she and my daughter gave up on trying to be friends to Nancy for several months.

This problem did not start just this year, but ever since the three girls had been playing together, a few years now. I had told my daughter that the best way to help Nancy to understand that her behavior was wrong would be to decline playing with her or to leave when she starts. To continue playing with her seemed be a green light for her undesirable behavior. My daughter was more concerned about hurting Nancy's feelings, who did not seem to be concerned with hurting hers.

Lately, Nancy has been calling asking to play. (I really wish children were taught phone manners before they are allowed to use a phone. When she called yesterday I said hello four times and she echoed hello four times instead of stating her purpose for the call.) My daughter has been willing to play with her, to see how she would behave. My daughter is very forgiving and willing to give second chances, but I am hoping she is more wary of how her good morals can be used against her. Things have been going better, she tells me.

Nancy's mother told me, when calling for her to be sent home for dinner, that she has been talking to her about how to treat her friends. She believes Nancy is a bit bossy in demanding her own way. Yes, a bit...but there are times it is better to receive information than to give it so I just listened. I don't know if the refusal to go the birthday party tipped the mother off or not, but I hope for her own sake that Nancy learns to compromise and I am thankful that my daughter stopped allowing herself to be compromised with her demands.

Is being uncompromising the Christian thing to do? I believe it is when it is appropriate. Jesus certainly did not compromise with the Pharisee when they were trying to find fault with Him! He did not let anyone manipulate or boss Him. He did not let them get by with it in a humble, I-love-you-no-matter-what-you-do kind of manner either. He was justly uncompromising and that is part of what makes me proud to be a believer in Him.

~ Thank you, my Lord, for being all that a loving God should be: One who does not compromise with evil doings and yet readily receives us when we repent. May we be more like You. ~

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