The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent. ~Erich Fromm
After removing the day bed and trundle as well as all those toys and knickknacks from the Princess' room for the re-stretching of the carpet, my husband initiated a conversation about redecorating. I have talked about it now and then, but with homeschooling a child and being a housewife/mother and having my husband away so much, time and energy are precious things I do not like to squander. You see, decorating a room is never a simple project for me--remember that whole conflicted and complicated thing I have going on for myself? Well, this is where it really is unleashed with a vengeance and my abandoned self-control is tossed in its unrelenting sea of endless possibilities, experimentation, and indecisiveness. Then there is the other thing, the whole warping of the space-time continuum that seems to happen to me alone when I am engaged in such projects. In other words, time has no relevance to me, but it seems that it does to everyone else, so I struggle to adhere to the structure of their timeline and not be completely swept up in the timelessness of creativity. The ordinary things like preparing meals, eating, sleeping, and even visits to the bathroom are forgotten when I am in the throes of my own inspiration. I once told my husband that the redecorating of our own room would be a two week project and two months later...well, you get the picture. Needless to say that for him to strike up a conversation about decorating a room is not something he casually would do--not with me, at any rate.
When we first decorated the nursery and I cross-stitched the Noah sampler in the picture, we did not know the baby's gender and we did not want to know. The room was originally set up for children of guests and became our teddy bear room before the Princess arrived--every room in my house as a theme it seems. With teddy bear colors in mind, we choose an oak crib with a canopy and a Noah themed crib set with a canopy cover in American colors. I planned to use denim in the theme also and it all went together well. I even found matching fabric and sewed the valance for the denim drapes with a contrasting fabric for the bows and valance edge. (I cannot find a picture of the crib dressed up presently.) As you can see from the sampling on the top of the valance, the Princess' has collection of stuffed furry friends fitting the Noah theme.
I was well into my second trimester with relief from morning sickness and a wondrous spurt of energy before I attempted to paint the mural and sewed the drapes, but trying to get it done before the discomforts and extra tiredness of the third trimester were upon me. I did some short cuts, using an airbrush when I could and cutting out the figures from the extra fabric to glue them onto the mural. When I was not feeling well enough to do much physical work, I tracked down a cross-stitch Noah sampler pattern I remembered from a magazine over ten years before (pictured above) and was surprised that I still had it! I also crocheted my very first granny square blanket for the baby.
When they use the term "expecting," it says it all and yet is quite inadequate all at the same time. I don't remember being I so happy and excited doing so much work and shopping. I had dreams looking like a mother singing softly or reading to my little bundle in my rocking chair, dressing her up in various cute outfits, and watching her discover the world. Yes, I did do those things--such blessed moments. I suppose that is why it is with bittersweet feelings that I am again preparing to decorate the Princess' room. She is no longer a young child for whom I must make all the decisions; she slowly and all too quickly developed into a creative, artistic child, who has her own ideas and tastes. I suppose it should be no surprise with the excitement of her own expectancy in making changes to her room, that I find her to be as complicated and conflicted as her own mama.
~ My Lord, it is so difficult to let go of the baby and see the maturing person my child is becoming, even though I look forward to seeing the adult she will become. Thank you for such sweet, sweet memories and the ones yet to come. ~
I have be dreading the appointed day to have our carpets stretched, but Tuesday it was upon us. Nothing reminds you of how much stuff you have until you have to move it! Thankfully, my husband was able to take two comp days off and he worked at breaking down our two queen beds and a day bed with a trundle. Plus everything had to be removed from every closet and from some of the furniture that needed to be moved around. It was nearly like preparing to move out of the house, but messier. 
For the last few years my husband and I have not been volunteering much at church. We were very active for many years and have done a wide variety of jobs within the different churches, but the demands with his job made it increasing more difficult to make long term or regular obligations. Although he is more often than away from home during the week, things are a bit more predictable on the weekends now and our daughter is a good age to be more independent and responsible. At the same time, our church is in need of people to fill in doing some of the things the pastor and her husband were doing, so we are going to be doing more.
Today my heart yearns for my Lord. There is so much unrest in my world, my country, my community, and my church, but none of that would matter as much if there was not unrest in my own heart. 
Years ago, I was at a point in my life that I did not trust my judgment so I surrendered it to my Lord. I asked the Lord to provide the one He wanted me to marry. 
My Lord promised to give His people a land flowing with milk and honey. Perhaps a symbolism only, but I am pretty sure what the people envisioned is what we now call unpasteurized or
Last night we had a meeting at my little church to list what qualities we would like to see in a pastor, as we are now looking for one. The meeting went well and some answers were expected. Of course, we all want someone who is perfect, yet we all know that is not going to happen.
Last year's VBS was the very first time I ever dropped off my child without a blood relative present, but I do think of church members as family. It was at a time when my husband was working out of state and they had plenty of adults there, so I had a just a bit over an hour to spend by myself each day for five days. It is just amazing how much I covet having a few hours to myself and then, when I finally have them, I really don't know what to do. I even had to fight the feeling that I had lost my child somewhere in the store when I did a little shopping.
This year VBS was from July 20-24 and I volunteered to face paint. I was not sure how many nights I could be there, but as it turned out, I was there all five. My husband came when he could, as he was working locally for part of the week, so he took some pictures of me painting faces. Now the thing was that nearly every child wanted painted every day, which keeps one child occupied while others are waiting because it takes a few minutes to each, and face painting had to be squeezed in between planned activities. I wish more children had been there, but I was also thankful we had only about fifteen at the most; I did some adults as well.
After working with youth for years in other churches, I know I am not one to work well in organized chaos--although I have done it, of course, and it worked out well--but for this I had my own little corner and face painting is all I was needed to do. Compared to what the other adults were doing, I think I had it easy. What you don't see in the pictures is that I was on my knees to paint the children and adults sitting in the chair, but my Lord is good, as I had absolutely no back or knee pain the entire week.
The VBS theme was superheroes of the Bible, which is why everyone was wearing a cape. I have become pretty practiced at doing various designs for girls, but not that many for boys. The girls mostly wanted horses and butterflies. The boys more often went for a Superman "S" and a Spiderman 
The grand prize for the one who brought the most guests was a full face design, but two sisters tied so I ended up doing two instead of one.
The Princess and I share a abstract traits, that means we both like to use reason and intuition. However, we also differ in some very pronounced ways. I am a Abstract Sequential (AS) and the Princess is a Abstract Random (AR). True to being an AS, I tend to like having things in some kind of order, but the Princess naturally dislikes order. I am sure that you can see this one difference alone causes a bit of friction for the both of us at times.
There has been some changes in my little church. The kind that test a church. The kind that test me also.