The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent. ~Erich Fromm
After removing the day bed and trundle as well as all those toys and knickknacks from the Princess' room for the re-stretching of the carpet, my husband initiated a conversation about redecorating. I have talked about it now and then, but with homeschooling a child and being a housewife/mother and having my husband away so much, time and energy are precious things I do not like to squander. You see, decorating a room is never a simple project for me--remember that whole conflicted and complicated thing I have going on for myself? Well, this is where it really is unleashed with a vengeance and my abandoned self-control is tossed in its unrelenting sea of endless possibilities, experimentation, and indecisiveness. Then there is the other thing, the whole warping of the space-time continuum that seems to happen to me alone when I am engaged in such projects. In other words, time has no relevance to me, but it seems that it does to everyone else, so I struggle to adhere to the structure of their timeline and not be completely swept up in the timelessness of creativity. The ordinary things like preparing meals, eating, sleeping, and even visits to the bathroom are forgotten when I am in the throes of my own inspiration. I once told my husband that the redecorating of our own room would be a two week project and two months later...well, you get the picture. Needless to say that for him to strike up a conversation about decorating a room is not something he casually would do--not with me, at any rate.
When we first decorated the nursery and I cross-stitched the Noah sampler in the picture, we did not know the baby's gender and we did not want to know. The room was originally set up for children of guests and became our teddy bear room before the Princess arrived--every room in my house as a theme it seems. With teddy bear colors in mind, we choose an oak crib with a canopy and a Noah themed crib set with a canopy cover in American colors. I planned to use denim in the theme also and it all went together well. I even found matching fabric and sewed the valance for the denim drapes with a contrasting fabric for the bows and valance edge. (I cannot find a picture of the crib dressed up presently.) As you can see from the sampling on the top of the valance, the Princess' has collection of stuffed furry friends fitting the Noah theme.
I was well into my second trimester with relief from morning sickness and a wondrous spurt of energy before I attempted to paint the mural and sewed the drapes, but trying to get it done before the discomforts and extra tiredness of the third trimester were upon me. I did some short cuts, using an airbrush when I could and cutting out the figures from the extra fabric to glue them onto the mural. When I was not feeling well enough to do much physical work, I tracked down a cross-stitch Noah sampler pattern I remembered from a magazine over ten years before (pictured above) and was surprised that I still had it! I also crocheted my very first granny square blanket for the baby.
When they use the term "expecting," it says it all and yet is quite inadequate all at the same time. I don't remember being I so happy and excited doing so much work and shopping. I had dreams looking like a mother singing softly or reading to my little bundle in my rocking chair, dressing her up in various cute outfits, and watching her discover the world. Yes, I did do those things--such blessed moments. I suppose that is why it is with bittersweet feelings that I am again preparing to decorate the Princess' room. She is no longer a young child for whom I must make all the decisions; she slowly and all too quickly developed into a creative, artistic child, who has her own ideas and tastes. I suppose it should be no surprise with the excitement of her own expectancy in making changes to her room, that I find her to be as complicated and conflicted as her own mama.
~ My Lord, it is so difficult to let go of the baby and see the maturing person my child is becoming, even though I look forward to seeing the adult she will become. Thank you for such sweet, sweet memories and the ones yet to come. ~
