Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Critical Point


Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.
~Henry David Thoreau

What I really want to write about here, I cannot—well, should not, to be more accurate—so I am going to write about the thing behind what I should not write about.

I recently wrote a post on hypocrisy in Guilty as Judged. I am living in a sea of my own hypocrisies...and some hypocrisies of others as well, but that is the ironic part of it all. I cannot write about another person's hypocrisy without adding to my own.

Yes, I am going in circles. Are you lost? I will try to clarify within the vagueness I must maintain for the sake of propriety.

I have been very keenly aware of how I fall short as a witness for the Lord ever since that 40-day fast. What might have been viewed previously as little sins (if there are such things) have just been eating at me and somehow seem far bigger now.

The critical point is that I have been pointing critically at the faults of other people. I have been complaining....

Now here is the ironic part, which I want to critically point it out so you will not miss it: I want to complain mostly about how other people complain!

There it is! That hypocrisy staring back at me in the mirror. I have caught myself writing emails and talking on the phone to friends about other people (they do not know) in a complaining way. I suppose you could throw in gossip too. It is just unbelievable how the hypocrisy abounds in me. I have even gossiped about gossipers! How twisted is that?

I am sensing the Lord is making this so obvious to me because He wants me to change this. Now, it is far easier to bite the tongue than to stop the thought process that precedes it, but nothing is too great for the Lord. So, if I were advising someone about this problem (and, yes, I have done some advising in my time) I would say that the Lord has given me everything I need to be pleasing to Him because I have the Holy Spirit to advise me.

Now, for the worst part of all...I even felt nudges from the Lord to stop before I started and I did it anyway! Why do I ignore the Lord when He is clearly telling me not to do something? How far I will go to displease the Lord I profess I wish to please!

~ Forgive me, my Lord, for not obeying You when You are giving me directions that will bring me closer to you. Take from me the desire to complain about others. Help me to think only on the good things You have provided for me and see them through Your Eyes of Love. ~